Family of Origin Wounds and Eating Disorders
Eating disorders (EDs) are complex conditions often rooted in deep-seated emotional trauma from our family of origin. These “origin wounds,” a term coined by Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, describe the emotional injuries from childhood that continue to impact our behavior and relationships as adults. Recognizing and addressing these wounds is crucial for healing and recovery.
Common Family of Origin Wounds
Worthiness: Many of us grew up feeling that we had to meet certain conditions to feel valued by our families. This can lead to a persistent sense of inadequacy.
Belonging: Conforming to family norms and dealing with how our differences were treated can affect our self-perception.
Prioritization: If caregivers were consistently preoccupied with work or romantic relationships, it might have led to feelings of loneliness or being an obligation.
Safety: Experiencing or witnessing abuse can make relationships feel unsafe and create a longing for protection.
Trust: Betrayal or neglect can foster hyper-independence and difficulty trusting others.
The Link Between Origin Wounds and Eating Disorders
Parental Attitudes and Behaviors: Overly critical, neglectful, or controlling parents can instill a sense of inadequacy, potentially leading to disordered eating as a means to exert control or gain approval.
Trauma and Abuse: Childhood trauma can lower self-esteem and body satisfaction, with EDs providing a misplaced sense of safety or a form of self-punishment.
Enmeshment/Poor Boundaries: Overly enmeshed family dynamics can compel individuals to use food and body control as a way to express individuality.
Conditional Love: When love is conditional upon certain behaviors or achievements, it can drive the pursuit of a “perfect” body to feel worthy.
While biological factors DO play a role in EDs, this is a call to look beyond individual pathology when it comes to Eating Disorders. Environmental and socio-political contexts are significant triggers that are commonly overlooked in the field. Understanding EDs as a survival response to relational and systemic issues like white supremacy, capitalism, and cisheteropatriarchy can offer a broader perspective on treatment and recovery. Please see my podcast Body Justice for a deep dive on the intersection of ED’s and social justice issues! perspective on treatment and recovery. Please see my podcast Body Justice for a deep dive on the intersection of ED’s and social justice issues!
Journal Prompts for Reflection and Healing
Which origin wounds resonate the most with you? How have they influenced your relationship with food and your body?
If your original caregivers could understand one thing about you, what would it be? What did you need from them?
How has society reinforced these wounds? How do your social identities play into this? How can you meet your wounds’ needs today instead of repeating old patterns? What changes can you make, and who can support you?
Understanding and addressing family of origin wounds is a crucial step towards healing from eating disorders. By reflecting on these wounds and seeking supportive relationships, you can start to break free from the harmful patterns that have kept you stuck. This work is painful and full of grief. You don’t have to do it alone! Reach out to one of our clinicians today to start unpacking these wounds with compassion and care.
At Eating Disorder OCD Therapy, we offer compassionate, relational, and individualized care, rooted in the belief that healing is not one-size-fits-all. Honoring client autonomy, collaboration, and anti-oppressive, neurodivergent-affirming practices, we walk alongside you as the expert in your own life. We provide therapy for Eating Disorders, OCD, Body Image, Trauma, Maternal Mental Health, and offer Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP), Group Therapy (globally), Recovery Coaching (globally), and Clinical Consultation and Supervision for clinicians. We are currently accepting new clients for in-person therapy in San Diego and virtual services in California, Washington, Utah, and Florida.
